How to Stop Moving House From Putting Stress on Your Relationship
Moving house is a majorly stressful time when you're in a relationship. Adjusting to each other's habits, differing choices, and splitting housework can all cause headaches. Thankfully, we've put together this guide on how you can reduce moving house stress when you're in a relationship.
If you've found yourself keying the words, 'moving house stress on relationship' into Google, we'd bet this is exactly the blog post you're looking for. Maybe you're looking for a little guidance to help you navigate this turbulent time - let's face it, things can get bumpier than a small aircraft flying through the Bermuda triangle... in cyclone season. Well, you've come to the right place.
The good news right off the bat, is that one thing you most certainly are not, is alone. A house move is a majorly stressful time in a relationship, practically every time, and that's true of basically every single couple who is living together that you know.
If it wasn't the cause of at least a few headaches, soul-searches or tiffs, the couple are either masters of Dalai-Lama-level Tibetan Buddhism... or they're just tremendously peaceable extra-terrestrials, advanced beings who simply don't experience relationship stress. We'll let you decide that one.
The biggest causes of conflict, and common issues for people who experienced relationship problems following a move, included:
Adjusting to a partner's habits
Restricted personal space
Money worries and financial disagreements
Splitting housework ('my turn to wash up again?')
Stresses related to the move, such as admin or storage
In fact, research revealed that 11% cited a home move as a major reason for a relationship ending. We'll just go and sniff fetch the tissues.
But it's not all doom and gloom - let's slice this another way. That means a whopping 89% of couples who moved house or moved in, found a way to get through it together. Just because you've had a few tough moments while you navigate this home move alongside your partner, doesn't mean you're at relationship-breaking point. That's what this blog post is all about.
Being the Home Move Specialists and all-around wise old heads that we are, we know a thing or two about some of the stressful things that can snowball into relationship issues during a home move. So we've put together this handy guide to some of the issues you may have encountered, and the best ways to deal with them.
Because, remember: great relationships aren’t great because they never have problems. They’re great because both people care enough to make it work.
Know your own foibles, and accept your partner's
Don't take this the wrong way, but you have an... unusual personality. In fact, so does your partner - everybody does. How boring would life be without all of our little quirks, eccentricities, idiosyncrasies and, for want of a better word, weirdness?
Self-expression is fundamental to a happy life. So, if for you, that means collecting vintage Bournemouth AFC football shirts, then go for it.
But that's a double-sided coin, and when you flip it over, recognise that it runs both ways. Try to accept that your other half has their own personality funks too, and those are things - French language textbooks, bicycle tyres, trumpets, fantastical quantities of tupperware - that are going to find expression, and become regular fixtures around your home.
Moving home (or moving in) is a time of new beginnings, but you'll both bring some old baggage, and adapting to another's habits is crucial to nurturing a mature relationship. Aim to accept new habits as part of an exciting, and interesting element of your shared life, rather than resenting them - no matter how much space those golf clubs take up in the wardrobe.
Cut down on all the boxes
A pre-move clear-out can do wonders for your stress levels during a move. It might be that your old house had the space for all the junk you didn't really want, but never got around to throwing away, but the chances are your new place won't.
In the weeks and months before a home move, it's a good idea for both you and your partner to have a good old chin-scratching think about your stuff. Do you really need to hang on to that old box of your mother's Motown CDs, or are they better off down at the charity shop?
Moving day, and the time approaching it, will come off a lot smoother if you've got significantly less stuff to try and transport. So as a part of the packing process, go through your current home, and see if there aren't one or two dust collectors you can save both yourself and your partner the hassle of dealing with
Prioritise your quality time, however stressful house moves become
For couples moving home, it can be challenging to find the time, headspace and energy required to nurture the relationship itself, the 'us' stuff... the things which, really, are the reason you guys are together in the first place.
There might be financial issues, for example, or problematic neighbours, or mountains of paperwork - even something as simple as a missing food bill can totally drain you, and leave you wanting to do nothing but curl up for some peace and quiet.
And that's all good. But don't forget, once in a while, to take some time as partners to relax, refresh, unwind, and chill out.
Rather than being the biggest cause of stress for your other half, aim to be their source of strength during a home move. Do the things that you enjoy as a couple, communicate your own feelings and, on Saturday night, why not order a couple of pizzas and watch Castaway for the fourth time in as many years. It's a hard time - you guys deserve it.
Lean on self-care techniques & anxiety management
While you and your partner can absolutely support one another, there's also a balance to be struck - after all, they are not responsible for your happiness, and neither are you for theirs. Prioritise your own wellness where you need to, and don't spend all of your energy running around, trying to fix the next catastrophe coming down the line.
Do we sound like Oprah yet?
What we mean is this: we're all human, and it's totally natural to get super stressed out once in a while, especially during a home move - after all, it's one of the most stressful things you'll do in your entire life.
So, it only follows that you'll need to decompress. And sometimes, that'll mean having some alone time. Whether that means taking quiet time to read every now and then, a solo walk with the dog, playing some classical through your headphones, a session tending the garden or just half an hour's privacy for mindfulness and meditation.
The key here is communication. If you find your temper becoming frayed, your patience getting thin, or the spark of a major meltdown lit like the fuse of a TNT cache - talk about it. Let your partner know what's going on, don't bottle up the tricky moments, and try to avoid cross words. And, equally, aim to be understanding when they need some time.
The checklist: enemy of stressful house moves
There is no more powerful weapon to a chaotic situation than a well-organised list. A properly-organised, colour-coded checklist is like home moving kryptonite. The first step of conquering any challenge is to know thy enemy - and in a home move, your enemy is not your partner, or even the relationship stress: it's the walrus-sized pile of stuff you have to somehow try and get through.
What we've found, from our years in the business, is that the very best first step is to make a good old-fashioned list of priorities. Sit down with your partner, give yourselves time, and go through everything that needs to get done - really break out the fine-tooth comb for this.
You'll want to avoid leaving random post-it notes scattered across the fridge, or just barking 'must-remember-to-do' tasks down the stairs to each other, as and when you remember them. That'll put you on the fast track to arguments, stress, miscommunications and general bad energy.
Leave the tricky stuff to veteran movers
A final thing to say on home-moving relationship stress is that practice makes perfect. As couples grow more experienced and (hopefully) wiser, they learn the ropes of moving house - what actions are a good idea, which things are to be avoided - and they find a collaborative rhythm which allows their relationship to sail through a home move like it's got the wind behind it on a clear, sunny day.
Did you know that research has found that less than half of couples who had moved together at least twice reported any relationship problems at all, and under 10% described them as 'serious issues'? The take-home message here is: hang in there. You guys have got this. Work together, communicate, understand, be kind to yourselves and each other, and tag-team the tasks, to keep that home move on a steady course. Pretty soon you'll be laughing about it all, over a nice fresh coffee in your sparkling new kitchen.
Of course, there's one more move you can make, a final ace in the hole to play, and it's a biggie.
Moving home already takes enough of a toll on a relationship, without you trying to bite off more responsibilities than you can chew - so why not leave the hassle, the time-consuming and confusing, annoying stuff to the people who know it best?
We're talking about council tax registration; Royal Mail redirects; home and contents insurance; utility providers; broadband, storage, and much more.
This is where we come into our own. Just Move In's business is making home moving manageable, and we're on hand to reduce the stress of getting you set up in your new pad, easing the burden on your relationship and giving you as a couple the time, headspace and clarity to navigate the challenge together.
Plus, you guys will get a mangrove tree planted in your name as part of our partnership with Worldview International Foundation, so you'll be doing your bit for a greener tomorrow, too.
To find out more about how Just Move In can assist you in your move, click here.